They’re the ones who can sit next to you on a couch and just let you cry. Not because you’re too sad to talk, or they don’t know what to say, but because they know you. And they know that sometimes you just need to cry. One good cry. I think I’m overdue: and it’s weird to say that and admit I want to have a good cry… but it’s true.
Instead of drowning in tears, I’m going to go to sleep early and fall asleep to my favorite movie of right now: “Away We Go”
Everyone needs to watch it.
I came across an old email to a friend that said her 16th birthday was “the highlight of my year.” I thought back to why that could be and realized that it marked the night that my friends from middle school (who knew me as the basketball playing tom-boy) saw me in a dress, with my hair down and looking beautiful. This wasn’t the first time I had worn a dress and felt beautiful. This wasn’t the first time I had worn my hair down and felt girly. This was simply the first time that all the good things I felt about myself were manifested in a single emotion and a single night. I hate to say that what people thought about me had such a big impact on me, but who doesn’t want to be appreciated and told that they looked stunning?
I was 16 years old.
Now I’m 19 and that feeling lives on in me, whether I’m conscious of it or not.
There are days when I wear make-up for fun and rock a t-shirt and jeans and I feel like a model.
There are also days when I roll out of bed and my hair looks professionally groomed.
But there are also the days when I look in the mirror and wonder why my face looks crappy or my hair is limp or my eyes look tired.
On those days I remember that sometimes a smile is the most beautiful feature… and it’s cliche, but if you let your inner beauty shine through it really does make a difference.
I remember telling my dad, “I’m never going to be caught dead in a skirt.” Well the sun came out for the first time in a while up here in Tacoma, and brought with it a bit of warmth; guess what I wore? A skirt. I can almost imagine the look on my 10 year-old face if she could see me now. Is it disgust? No… definitely not. It’s mild amusement; awe, even.
Chloe turned 20 this past week. Twenty years-old. Two decades. We’ve known each other since the first day of 6th grade when we both chose to play the viola. Neither of us really play any more, but that’s pretty much the only thing that has changed about us and between us. We’re still a little dorky, a little goofy. We still crush over boys, have girl-talk, and snuggle during sleepovers. We go to school a thousand miles apart but the distance had so far stood the test of time.
Cailynn is in Kentucky for school. Thousands of miles away. Playing two sports and having not much of a Christmas break. But somehow we are still inseparable. We don’t talk enough, we barely text, and even our Facebook contact is at a minimum. Our friendship, however, is still unbreakable. I’ve known her since I was 5 and I hope that she will continue to be right there by my side.
I’m always willing to accept change and I look forward to it. But there a few things in my life that I will never change. They know who they are, and they will be there forever, whether they like it or not =]. They’re stuck with me.
To brag about yourself on a blog. I coined this phrase this morning when I realized that’s what blogging turns into. I like it. I’m gonna keep on doing it.
P.S. Blag sounds like Blog, but in a Boston accent. Sweeeet. =]
Jan/broo/air/ee (n) meaning the month between December 2009 and February 4th 2010 during which Lindsay did not update anybody about her life.
Crisis averted; this is me (GirlinLike) updating you (the reader).
So, glancing back this is what Janbruary had in store for me: New Year’s Eve rave with about 15 of my favorite Los Angeles friends. A king size bed in a hotel with Ally after said rave. Persuading the LA Fitness managers to give me three free weeks of gym membership. Using their erg. Souplantation dates with mom and pops. Chipotle with Mooney. 3.4 GPA. 75 degree winter. John-Henry’s birthday cake. Not bowling. Not sharing my nyquil with a guy at Hannah’s party. Not staying long. Cuddle time with Chloe. French toast. Yoga with mom and Anne. QT with Lauren. Hiking with dad. Photography on a 1973 camera (turned out that I didn’t load the film right). Packing to come back to school. Watched the movie “Away We Go.” Fell in love with that movie. (Go see it). Movie night with Elliott. Sunday brunch (french toast on Challah) with Gerad, Alec, Kayla, Mike, etc. Hear about LA being hit by rain. Tacoma had sunshine. <– (WHAT!)
Ergomania (2k @ a 1:56 split)! Crew season started. 6 am weights. Fitness test (20:43). 6k @ 2:04.1 animal style. Applied to be a Resident Assistant (again). Dropped calculus. Interviewed for RA position. Called home. Asked for a bigger meal plan. Got grandma shoes (good for your lower back).
And I’m currently loving my grandma shoes.
P.S. Mom sent me brownies in the mail. They came in blocks wrapped in foil. Totally looked like cocaine. A few kilos of cocaine. I didn’t complain.
Upcoming: first day back out on the water for Crew today! Woot woot.
Saturday: 9 am row.
It’s a good life.