Things I have learned to not eat on dates, but still always do:

In no particular order:

1) Bagels with cream cheese–I am partial to blueberry bagels toasted with cream cheese. And lots of it. Which inevitably means it seeps out in every which way and a dollop might land somewhere on or around me. The gooey cheese looks great on my face at the end. Not.

2) Buffalo Wings–they’re amazing, irresistable, spicy, meaty, and, unfortunately one of the messiest foods in the world. But that never stops me. Muahaha.

3) Caesar Salad–if it’s the real kind, it is made with anchovies. And you will smell fishy. But it tastes delicious and has a lovely kick to it, which means I’ll order this again.

4) Peanut Butter Bacon Cheeseburgers–I think this just weirds out most people. But not me. Extra Peanut Butter please!!! Oh, and if you add jalapenos, your mouth will be jappy. Or jalapainful.

5) Donuts–there’s really nothing that says fatty like donuts. Which is why they are my favorite thing in the world.

6) Pasta with garlic–this is the gift that keeps on giving. The smell will not leave your mouth for a long time. I hope your partner likes garlic tongue. Yum. Oh, Nick, beware! ❤

Additionally, there is another go-to date pasta of mine:

7) Spaghetti–they say it’s polite in some cultures to slurp your food. Others say this is just obnoxious. I am with the former. It’s fun, too. Needless to say, with slurping spaghetti, comes the splashing of sauce. Wear a bib.


8) ONIONS–nothing says “I want to sleep with you” more than onion breath. Try it. For beginners, onion rings work best.

–Sloppy Girl in Like


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