Practical Usefulness of Being a Rower

Is my title redundant? Probably. But there are some things that are useful, but not practical to everyday life, e.g., being a rower gives you ugly hands. Useful for rowing and back scratches. Not for anything else.

Also, I’m feeling nostalgic for my days of yore, rowing on American Lake with my girls. And I’m sitting at a coffee shop, getting in and out of my chair with ease… which leads me to my first reason it’s great to be a rower….


We can get in and out of seats with ease.
(Have you ever tried to slide out of a bench seat without scooting your butt 10 times? We can.)
(Unless we just pulled a 2K). (In which case, laying on the ground on the verge of tears is normal).

Our waists always seem small to us (let’s not talk about our thighs).

We have really nice butts.

Actually, let’s talk about our thighs:
They pull us out of bed in the morning and support us all day.
And they look damn good in spandex shorts. (Is this a normal thing? No.)
We don’t think we’re fat. We know we’re muscular. I repeat: we’re not fat. Even if we are. We’re not. (somehow…)

We have clothes our friends can borrow when they want to be crazy (see our assortment of colorful spandex).

We have versatile clothing for every type of weather (except warm weather).

We know how to shower quickly before class.

We know how long we can go without showering.

We can eat on the run (“back to campus by 8 am” is a lie).

We drink a lot of water.

We know what hard work is.

We know what team work is.

We are internally motivated and also care about others (because let’s be real, we don’t pull 2Ks for our coaches…)

We can handle authority. (Slash do what we’re told.. by the coxswains…)

We support our local vendors (Shakabrah, after a long practice, we have brought you tables and tables of patronage).

When we cry, it’s passion, not weakness.

We can sleep. Anywhere. (Mostly in class, but not limited to: the library, coffee shops, standing upright, at the SUB diner, in line for a movie, in a car, on the floor, on a couch, in a chair, in a noisy room, and on a bus).

To be continued…

Ex-Rower Girl in Like (actually, once a rower, always a rower. Hack hack, chop chop).